Tuesday, 30 July 2013

His Birthday

It was T's birthday yesterday. When skunk and I went shopping for his gift, I told him to choose any item of clothing for his preasent to him. He came back with a shirt that said,

 "Number one dad".

Now! Do you know how that made me feel?
I'm sure I'm not the only one that has been a single mom and found a partner but, I never thought I'd ever see my little skunk accept someone into our family of two. I mean, from the day he was born it was just us. 

Being the mother, I knew I always had to do what I had to do. I knew I had to choose someone special, someone who would love me and love my little skunk. He is just as stubborn as me and has a protective nature whenever the opposite sex comes anywhere near me, so I had to be vigilant.

I had five years of getting over skunks dad, emotional and financial struggle became second nature and my serial dating habits were common knowledge to everyone but my innocent boy. I wanted control this time.
This girl was fed up of dating what I can only refer to as waste men and I wanted to choose the best this time.
So I went on a dating site. Oooooooooow, me on a dating site? Why would I do that? Filling up my car at a petrol station would bring me unnessary attention, so why am I going to expose myself to more pricks, sex maniacs and wackos?  
I'll tell you why.  It's because there was the potential I could find someone that could treat me and my son like we deserve, someone who wanted the same sort of future as me, someone to understand and talk with, a strong father figure, friend and lover. I could actually find what I dreamt about by using the recruitment skills I picked up at work :-).

And yes It looks like I've done it!
The family like him, Skunk likes him and I love him.
Anyway! A breakfast fit for a king, an outfit, a day filled with baileys, red hot intimacy and a glamping holiday booked. I think it went well and I am feeling happy.  I don't want it to end but, for me it's goodnight to you all.

Remember! Follow me and subscribe x  My email address is jesuissensible@gmail.com if anyone want to contact me.

Saturday, 27 July 2013

A Side Of Me Which Is Normally Hidden

"Morning you!"

"Yes you!"

The one inside that's sometimes suppressed. The "me" that wants to talk about everything. How I've felt, how I'm feeling, What I've been through and what I'm going to do.  You know? let it all out.

Now, I would always advise my friends to speak to someone.  I'd say "speak to the person you feel closest to and would trust your life with".

The person I feel closest to is 7 years old. I call him my little skunk.  Not for hygiene reasons but, the gasses that can come out of a growing seven year old is amazing.
I'm supposed to be there as his strength,
not he as my personal psychiatrist.   I mean... what type of mother would that make me?

Anyway, due to all the things I do, I encounter a lot of scenarios which involve people from a variety of backgrounds and I didn't want to offend anyone.  So this should now allow me to open my heart and show me for me.

Being me is not easy because my extroverting personality and stubborn nature is one that provokes the passionate and the placid but, challenges those who are similar.  However, I'm taking the advice of my Manager, friends, family and boyfriend. Thus being "You need to release all that pressure"  "You need to be able to express your feelings without boundaries and get over all that anger".

These people claim to know me and love me. Some even claim to know me more than I know myself .  So I'm thinking that I will give It a try.  I'll see what emerges.

I never thought I was angry inside until I began to look into being Christ like and humble.
It also made me realise that I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm excited, I'm boring, I'm deep, I'm shallow, I'm mean and I'm loving all of which is inside of me.

It's not surprising emotions and feelings I've been suppressing might be overspilling.  Its like squeezing ten pounds of potatoes in a five  pound bag.

So I say YAYYYY! to me, for finally starting this.